Teen Dating Abuse and Healthy Relationship

Healthy Relationships

Everyone deserves to be in a relationship that is mutual and free from violence. However sometimes when you begin dating someone you find over time that this is not a positive relationship for you to be involved in.

A healthy relationship allows you to feel and have:

• Honesty
• Respect
• Trust
• Commitment
• Assertiveness
• Positive Self Esteem
• Open communication
• Equality
• Individual interests and well as combined.
• You can say NO to something you don’t want to do or if anything makes you feel uncomfortable or scared.

Self esteem

Before you can feel good in a relationship, you must feel good about yourself:

• Accept yourself as you are, no one is perfect
• Know what your strengths are
• Take control of your life
• Have a positive attitude
• Feel good about the decisions you make

For a relationship to last and grow there must be open communication between you and your partner. You both must feel you can

• be honest
• talk openly about your feelings
• take responsibility for your feelings, thought and actions
• work at resolving any problems or disagreements
• listen to your partner – remember you won’t always agree on everything but what you can do is respect and value other beliefs and opinion

If you feel the relationship may become intimate make sure you both are ready to take this step. Do not begin a sexual relationship if you feel it is too soon, you should both feel comfortable taking this next step together.Sex should be a guilt free step you both choose to take in your relationship. Take time to discuss it.

What’s an Unhealthy Relationship

A relationship is unhealthy when:

• You feel isolated and alone
• You feel threatened
• Embarrassed or humiliated
• Lied to by your partner
• Hurt physically/sexually
• Your partner is controlling and dominating
• Your partner is jealous and possessive
• You receive no respect from your partner
• Criticized

Some people live in homes where this behavior is viewed as being normal. It’s not.

Ending a relationship

Sometiomes relationships don't last and that is natural but it can also be a hard and stressful time for both of you. Remember though, that every relationship teaches you something and helps you grow as an individual.

When ending a relationship be mindful of the points below.....

• Choose a safe location to end a relationship
• Be prepared for uncomfortable feelings but be clear, honest and compassionate
• Avoid blaming
• Be respectful
• Be Firm.
• Make the end Final

If you are in an unhealthy relationship GET HELP!
Talk to an adult you trust - a teacher, counsellor, parent
Call and talk to somebody at Kids Help Phone at 1-888-668-6868.
In an emergency call 911

Teen dating abuse

What is dating abuse?

Teen dating abuse is about the controlling pattern of behavior that is carried out between partners, this generally does not happen overnight but a gradual build up of behaviours and actions by one person to another. Dating abuse is not just you and your partner having an argument every once in a while but patterns of negative behaviours that are reoccuring. 

Abuse does not have to be just physical it can be emotional, sexual and verbal, financial and social.

This can include but is not limited to:

• Isolation from family and friends
• Feeling threatened
• Embarrassed or humiliated
• Lied to by your partner
• Hurt physically/sexually
• Controlling and dominating
• Your partner is jealous and possessive
• You receive no respect from your partner
• Your partner threatening to kill themselves if you leave them
• Controlling the finances
• Gift giving in return for something or giving gifts as an apology for abusive behaviour
• Constant monitoring of your actions and whereabouts

Things you can do to prevent dating abuse and promote healthy relationships:

• Practice and model respectful problem solving skills in your relationship
• Educate yourself on dating abuse
• Hold your partner accountable for their behaviour – focus on the behaviour rather than the person
• Reach out and ask for help if you find you are in an abusive relationship. Leaving an abusive partner can be a very dangerous thing to do so having another person to support you is essential
• Speak out about dating violence if you can- either through your school, college, community etc.